I'm not gonna cry, not gonna shed one single happy or sad tear.

The title to his post is from a song that was in the Senior video. As most of you know, my brother graduated from high school on Saturday morning.

     That in of itself is so surreal to me. Even watching him, my best friend Brittney, my brother's best friends, walk up to that podium and hear their name, and see them get their diploma, was just surreal. It still hasn't hit me. It hasn't really set in that I will no longer listen to his music on the way to school. That I will no longer scream at the top of my lungs for him at a football game. That I will no longer see him at school, get arrgravated waiting on him in the parking lot. 

     None of his friends will ever mess with me in the halls of Forrest high school ever again. I've always wished I could've been in their class. Always. With my select few friends, I would have loved to graduate alongside them this year. I don't like my class. My class is cliques galore. Tony's class is unified. Even the people that aren't friends really talk to one another. They love each other. My class is not like that. I could honestly care less about the majority of my class. I love some of them, but really, I don't really care.

    And that's bad, I know. I shouldn't feel  that way. I love school, and I love pep rallies and I love the atmosphere of games. But I can't help but feel like that most of what makes me love it so much will be gone with Tony not there. 

    Everyone loves Tony. He had high school in the palm of his hand. He was on the football team, got voted Best All Around by his classmates, graduated with honors. Everyone knows who he is. For the longest time, I was known as "Johnson's little sister" and that was perfectly okay with me. He's a good person to be known for. He's the kind of brother anyone would wish for. 

     It's going to be beyond weird when August rolls around, and I'll be a Junior and I'll be driving myself to school. He won't be there. Neither will any of his friends. Well, when I say his friends I mean the ones that are always at my house and that are like my own brothers. I'm going to miss them all so much. Granted none of them are going very far and I'll still see them on a regular basis. But still it'll be weird especially once football starts. 

    And so, I'm going to leave you with this. Cherish these last few years we have without responsibility and building homecoming floats, and helping people jump start their old cars in the parking lot after school. Cause those are the things you'll remember. 

Hearts and big brothers.

- Kimberlee.