So, in the past two days, my memay has called me about 10 times wanting help for some reason or another. My pawpaw is in the hospital, as i've said before, and we're slowly discovering that over the 30 some odd years that my grandparents have been married, my pawpaw has done everything for my memay.
And i do mean everything. I kid you not, she called my brother to get him to bag the trash. She was afraid she'd fall. Granted, she has gotten crippled, but she wouldn't be half as bad as she is if she'd exert herself a little bit.
i'd like to put a disclaimer on this, my memay is an amazing woman, and i don't know what we would've done without her growing up, but she's crazy. And getting crazier by the second. I have no idea what she'll do if my pawpaw can't beat this cancer. She also called me tonight to see if Tony could come up there because a man was coming by to bring Pawpaw's feeding tube stuff, and she didn't wanna be alone when he got there. I wanted to say, Memay, the man's working, why would he do anything to you? I'm pretty sure that nothing would happen.
I have made this promise with myself since i've grown up a little, i'm going to be independent, and i'm not gonna be scared for some guy to drop off something at my house, just cause i'm alone and i'm a woman. And i'm also never going to let myself get out of shape. I'm in the process of getting myself back in shape. And i'm not going to get back out of it. It's really hard to workout sometimes with my disability(I really hate saying that) But, i'm going to slowly work myself harder, because i want to be able to do everything anyone else can. At least, as much as i possibly can. I'm not going to be 62, and not be able to walk around in Dollar General like my memay, or 50 and be in a power chair, like my nana. It's not that they're lazy, it's that, they just didn't know what to do. I think they've become lazy over the years of not doing anything because bad things happened to them.
But, I'm not going to be that way. bad things happen to people everyday, Lord knows bad things have happened to me, but i'm not going to let anything or anyone keep me down for very long. Life is just too short.
This post hasn't really turned into what i was starting it out to be, but they rarely ever do.
Hearts and not giving up.
- Kimberlee.
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